This will be an odd post that’s peripherally related to food. It’s about children, food, and sitting down to dinner.
When I was a child, we sat down to dinner at table every night. Each of us children had tasks to perform (set the table, clear the table, wash the dishes, dry the dishes - yes there were four of us) every night. And although I’m sure complaints were mighty, there was no out. We did our tasks.
Also, when we sat down to dinner, what was served was served to everyone. No substitutions. If there was something one didn’t like, the rule was “take a bight, and then you can move on.” If one child persisted in being intransigent, the rule was “go to your room and go to bed now - no dinner for you.”
The best part was our parents didn’t back down. Sure, I didn’t think that way back then, but I do now. One failing, one "OK, we give in" and we’d have known we had them in our hands and could get away with anything. They’d back down if we put up enough of a stink.
My parents never did. And it turns out, never did my wife’s parents.
Naturally, I (we) think that’s the way it should be. We never got to be parents - met too late for reproductive purposes. So, for us, the rules are quite simple. I suspect for actual parents, it’s more difficult. But I think my, and my wife’s, experiences were the norm way way back in the 1950s to 1970s. When did it all start to change? When did children start making decisions for their parents? When did that become normal? I leave that to researchers who follow this stuff and I would love references to their work.
What brought on this missive? I opened, tonight, for the first time, the December issue of Bon Appétit. It was in a pile of stuff set aside back then when we were hosting parties. It was still in the plastic mailing bag. And this is April 9th, 2015! So, I feel almost like I’m exploring an archeological deposit.
What do I see? Way too many “gift ideas.” Really. Pages and pages. Please edit that stuff down. And then what prompted this post. Page 38, “New Year’s Eve, Family Style.”
Frankly, I loved the idea of the article and that a family would sit down to a New Year’s Eve Dinner, all fancy, with “passed hors d’oeuvres, bubbly drinks, fine china, place cards.” What fun! I can totally see my wife doing this (with the kids we don’t have) and us having a blast. Like, totally.
But then, the menu. I see courses that are really not challenging for kids, but there’s a kids version. And this is my issue.
Example:
Kids. Kettle Cooked Potato Chips
Parents. Kettle Cooked Potato Chips with Crème Fraîce and Caviar
On a special night like this, the kids would be on best behavior and acting all grown up-like. And this is the best opportunity to introduce them to those new flavors. “Try one. If you don’t like it, just have the chips.”
Next example:
Kids. Lobster with drawn butter
Parents. Lobster with drawn butter seasoned with smoked paprika
We’re not talking crazy stuff - kids could probably enjoy what you’re having, if you gave them the chance to at least try instead of treating them like coddled idiots.
OK, I’m not a parent. But, that’s not how I was raised.
Then there’s the sweetest part of the article:
“Our daughters write ‘fortunes’ for each of us and tuck them under the place cards. It’s always something sweet, like ‘Maybe this year dad will grow his hair back’.”
I so wish I’d had kids. And if I had, maybe I’d be more understanding than this post indicates. I probably sound way too preachy. I just wish I’d had kids, to prove me wrong.
